VIDEO
On Depersonalization— Often, I feel detached from my sense of self—my world feels unreal, dream-like, in a haze. I sometimes feel like I am watching myself, from out of my own body.
For years it was difficult to understand what was happening to me. I was afraid of never being able to experience my own life again, and take control of my own sensations.
Within this film, I wanted to depict these detached sensations and visually immerse people in my own experiences with this condition.
DEPERSONALIZATION
SECRET DOCUMENTARIST
On The Secret Documentarist— Making work about my family has always been quite difficult for me. My grandfather was often the voice of reason, the neutral contender, the rational. After he passed, everything started to feel unstable and distant.
My grandfather was a simple person. He ate the same breakfast every morning, woke up at 6am, filled out the crossword puzzle in the same paper, wore the same combination of clothing—his favorite ice cream was vanilla and he only liked his coffee black.
The way I knew my grandfather was through his simplicity. His films have shown me a new person—one that was not so simple. Without any awareness he was documenting my family for eighteen years, I am now getting to see his, perhaps, accidental artistry. I used to think we were very different people, but I am finding we are more alike than I thought. Maybe this project is not just about our relationship documenting our lives, but is me re-learning who my grandfather was.
The Secret Documentarist is a video project exploring my grandfather’s nearly 30 year archive of home videos along with my own videos, sometimes using his old cameras. By piecing together our work I draw more connections between us. I am yearning to experience these discoveries with him, but I know a piece of him remains in all my work.
LESBIANS OF NEW YORK CITY
On Lesbians of NYC— This project is inspired by my own relationship to the word lesbian. I always knew I was a lesbian, but struggled to come to terms with it. I first came out as bisexual, however, after my first relationship with a woman, I realized my sexuality had been constructed within the confines of male approval and validation. Growing up, I had a singular, linear idea of what a lesbian looked like, and it wasn’t me.